#I don't know why but this is always such a massive hurdle for like fucking everyone ever

[problemnyatic]

very weary reminder that you, yes you, the one reading this, are capable of providing inadequate care to your beloved pet(s). i know it can be very difficult to admit, but simply loving your special little guy sosososo much and being around them all the time is not actually a suitable replacement for a studied familiarity with animal behaviorology.

It is not a personal attack when someone points out that your animal is exhibiting signs of stress and/or poor care. While you may feel like a bad pet owner for hearing such, a WORSE pet owner is the one who digs their heels in and doubles down on the idea that, what? no way, your pets are FINE and who are YOU to accuse me of treating them badly? Don't you know how badly I love them?

You CANNOT let your heart be the only thing guiding your animal care. It's difficult to hear, but no, simply loving them more than life itself is not, and has NEVER been enough to give an animal a happy, healthy life. And your pet needing an adjustment to its care routine for its wellbeing is not some kind of accusation that you don't love them enough, or are abusing them, it's just something that needs to happen sometimes.

Please please PLEASE listen to your friends if they're telling you your pet is stressed out or showing signs of poor mental/physical health. At the very least, do hard research into the claim, WITHOUT the goal of proving them wrong.

Owning a pet isn't just about you. It's about the animal, which has needs and a language that is NOT naturally intuitive to humans. Don't assume that, oh, your creature is just like that. Seek to understand why that breed of animal would exhibit the behaviors you observe in it, even if they seem totally normal.

Sometimes loving means letting go, and sometimes it just means admitting your mistakes to yourself. Better to be wrong and change than to reassure yourself you'd never do something wrong just to feel better.

You need to be capable of wrong to be capable of doing the right thing. Please. For your pet's sake, if no one else's.

[midnightloversmusic]

"A Kiss?"

Sirius Black x Reader

"It's not that you don't like Sirius, you do, that's the problem.

that's why being chest to chest with him in a cramped storage closet is not the most ideal situation for you right now."

Masterlist

————————————————————————

It's not that you don't like Sirius, you do, that's the problem.

that's why being chest to chest with him in a cramped storage closet is not the most ideal situation for you right now. Especially when you can smell his woody cologne, the leather of his jacket, and the lingering scent of the cigarette he smoked earlier.

How I got in this situation? A Marauders prank gone wrong. You never really cared about the pranks they loved to pull because they never concerned you. This one went wrong, very wrong, Hence your current situation.

There were only supposed to be a few fireworks outside apparently, of course you didn't know that when loud popping noises disrupted you in the middle of your walk to charms. Professors all came running out of their classrooms, students were shrieking and ducking down, you were just plain confused because, what the fuck? No really, what the fuck?

You were even more confused when Sirius Black, of all people, came hurdling towards you and virtually flung himself onto of you hurdling you both towards the ground. Narrowly avoiding an off track flaming firework that went off into a dazzling explosion resulting in colorful sparks just mere feet away from you. Covering the hallway in a thick fog that made your eyes water.

The shock of it all made you not fight when two strong hands plucked you up off the floor and pushed you into the nearest storage closet.

When you finally come back to your senses and realize, really realize, that you're practically glued to a guilty looking Sirius's chest, lets Just say you flip out to put it lightly.

"What the fuck was that!"

"Those were fireworks."

"No fucking shit Black, why were they inside?"

You don't hear him sigh as much as you feel the breath softly brush against your neck

"Because Remus messed up the spell that he's been working on for months and gave James the wrong instructions causing the prank we have been planning for months to fall apart. I honestly can't believe them, I for one would have never-"

"Sirius! I Don't care about your stupid prank! I care about the fact that I just got tackled to the ground like I was in a quidditch match, burst both my eardrums from the noise, and went blind for at least 2 minutes out their, and you're complaining about how your prank didn't work? Are you serious right now?"

He smirks, and well you pretty much walked yourself right into the next thing he's going to say. It doesn't make it any less annoying.

"I'm always Sirius" he says with the goofiest, boyish grin on his face, and if it weren't for your situation right now, you probably would have smiled back considering Sirius Blacks smile is as close to a beam of sunlight as humanly possible.

you internally scream and give him a deadpan look. He goes back to looking sheepish.

Now that you are calming down, or at least not absolutely fuming anymore, you get a chance to really look at Sirius. You notice the freckle on his cheek, the slight crease in his eyebrow, the scar on his upper lip. He's very pretty, though you'd never say it to his face. Not willing to inflate is already massive ego.

You find yourself slowing your breathing down to match the breaths you feel him taking against your chest. And god his chest, its firm against your body and now you are picturing all the times you saw him by the lake in the warmer months in nothing but his swim trunks and- god is it hot in here? when did it get so hot?

there really isn't much room in here.

Sirius must sense the sudden shift in the room because he opens his mouth to say something, then immediately shuts it.

"Have you seem Sirius, James, Remus, or Peter? I know they had something to do with this. Once I find them they are dead meat. All of them. Detentions, perhaps for the whole year. Find me immediately if you see them. That goes for all students, If you see something say something! I will get to the bottom of this!"

You feel Sirius’s chest start to shake against yours and muffled giggles start coming out of his mouth until he can't hold back anymore and starts cackling.

“What are you doing? its like you want to get caught! Sirius be quiet. I'm not kidding! They are going to hear you!" You quickly give up your antics when you realize they are no use to sirius's implacable case of the giggles.

So you take your hand and promptly slap it over his mouth.

His eyes widen, but then go back to their normal devious state of unmistakable mischief and he licks your hand. He. Licks. Your. Hand.

"ugh, gross" You snatch your hand away immediately and wipe it down on his shirt without thinking. The problem with not thinking? You're rubbing your hand that was over his mouth on his chest. You are rubbing Sirius Black's Chest.

When you look back up you expect to see his teasing gaze ready to poke fun at you for touching his "Magnificently toned pecs" but his face is, pun not intended, serious. His cheeks are even tinted a little pink, and that just can't be right because Sirius doesn't blush. He gets flirted with by the hottest girls and boys at school and doesn't even bat an eye. There is just no possible way you could have made Sirius black blush, but yet here you are.

Looking up into his eyes you find him staring right back at you.

"You know your eyes are really pretty up close, its kinda hard to see them from across the classroom in potions" Sirius says quietly, voice almost a whisper

and you practically melt on the spot because that was such a nice thing to say. And he said it to you. Perfectly average you.

"Thank you" you breathed out "your eyes are very beautiful too."

"Are they now?" he smiled and quirked his eyebrow

you roll your eyes, "In that case I take it back-"

"No! You can't just take it back, I'm sorry! How can I make it up to you?"

"Make up what?"

"My awful teasing, and me being part of the reason you had to miss charms class and be stuck in a closet with me for twenty minutes"

"being in a closet with you wasn't that bad, but I can think of a way you can make it up to me"

"Anything."

"A kiss?" you whisper

He smiles. "I was hoping you'd say that" and he leans down to softly attach his lips to yours.

[andromebaa]

what are some of your favorite headcanons for just the two of us?

Oh man, I have so many lol. I'm gonna split them into serious stuff (plot/character hc), cute stuff (pairing/shipping hc) and dumb stuff (they're idiots hc). This is definitely not all of them, just the ones I could think of tonight. Kinda spoiler-ish if you haven't read up to the most current Just the Two of Us chapters so be warned! Serious Stuff

Kaito as a hero archetype always fascinates me. I feel like he has this compulsion to help others, especially those he perceives as weaker or unable to protect themselves. I think that's why I portrayed his 'biggest fear' in the simulation as hurting the people he loves the most and losing control in a way that makes him become a monster. (Very fun to consider depending on your HCs about his pre-game personality ehehe)

Kokichi is a walking bundle of trauma. So much has happened to this guy and I'm sure it's been dissected by people smarter than me but like - compulsive liar? Tiny? Really good at hiding? Those weird little spacing-out moments he gets? Something bad happened to you, didn't it? Like, maybe not as BAD as what I've depicted, but yeah. Poor baby.

Shadow Child was created as a representation of both Kaito and Kokichi's 'inner children', specifically the darker and more traumatic parts of their childhoods. They are portrayed more often as Kokichi because his trauma is much larger and more pronounced, and therefore more influential in the subconscious part of the simulation. I don't know why I stuck with they/them pronouns for them, it just kind of felt right?

The leech was based on Kaito's subconscious fears of his death. The concept of this parasite that drained its host's life force felt fitting for a death fear sort of thing. It also represents the loss of control he feels over this aspect of his life. It kind of 'evolves' as it takes in influences from other people, but that's kind of its main framework.

Miu's Copy had a massive breakdown during the bathroom scene. It was kind of her last straw before she turned on the leech. She kind of reflected on what she knew about the original Miu, the contents of the simulation and how Kaito and Kokichi interacted and it made her realise how fucked up everything was and how much she did not want to participate. Also she was getting sick of all the edgy thoughts leech was putting in her brain.

Cute Stuff

Kokichi's favourite food never used to be strawberries, it changed after Kaito fed them to him and he got some sort of psychological association between strawberries and him.

On that note, Kokichi probably can cook, like, decently, but he kind of plays up his ignorance because he likes Kaito showing him how to do it.

Kaito is super super into domestic life lol he can try to pretend he isn't but he so is. Definitely got into a routine when they were stuck in the simulation for that year.

Being with each other for that year made them get a really close, almost psychic-ish bond that people get when they spend too much time with each other. It's how Kaito can pick up on when Kokichi is lying, for example.

After he overcomes the whole 'don't touch me' hurdle, Kokichi swings to the other side of the pendulum and is very clingy. Won't leave Kaito alone. It annoys him at first but it grows on him.

They have lots of petty squabbles but they usually don't last. They're not fantastic at apologising properly to each other, it's usually just settled through physical affection or gifts (food).

Dumb Stuff

Kokichi drank shampoo the first time he saw it because he thought it was a fruity beverage. That's why Kaito started washing his hair for him.

Kaito named all his plants. He gets offended when Kokichi forgets them.

Miu definitely had relations with her P.A.L self.

I'm sure I'm missing a bunch lol but yeah headcanons woo! Thanks for the askkkk <3

[1greenameba]

It's incredible how much we stack the deck against hymenopterans in terms of studying their cognition :

We see solitary tarantula hawk wasps (5 cm bugs eich fly have a tough exoscheleton and a mighty painful sting , so they don't need high cognition in the same way a tiger or an eagle wouldn't need high cognition )

But yeah these guys both learn how to take out tarantula more effectively upon each subsequent encounter ,

And They memorize their nest spot in wich they take care of their youngs ,

Like these show traits (learning and parental care) wich we describe as intelligence ...

Yet we don't discuss them and label insects as dumb ...

But that is not all !

Then there are bees and ants !

Bumblebees are able to find a good approximation for the travelling salesman problem , in wich they have to find the shortest path between many points without overlap ,

And the solution they found wasn't the absolute best but like pretty good , indicating that they have a good intuition for this ...

They also taught bumblebees how to do addition and play ball , heck bumblebees have even played by themselves with younger bumblebees playing more than older ones , exactly like every other intelligent animal !

But no they are dumb instinctual cpu like animals !

Now let's jump to bees and ants :

Bees communicate with each other trough dancing ,

And these aren't just alarm calls , they indicate directions , and the only point of reference they use is the sun ,

Like there aren't many other animals besides humans that will do that , and even then humans aren't too good at it ...

Now this is like incredible when you put it in prospective of these other things :

When swarming bees will vote , they will collectively decide where they'll go based on other bees sharing informations on possible nesting spots ,

Like this means bees have preferences , and can change their mind ,

Like how do you fit this into the "bees are instinctual" theory ?

They will rank options and decide on them , this is massive to simply put , painted wolves have somenthing similar but it's nowere near as sophisticated ,

And yeah here comes the kicker : bees have evidence of meta cognition ,

They asked them memory questions in a lab setting , the bees successfully replied ,

Then they threw in a question the bee didn't know and the option to say "i am not sure" ,

The bees picked that when the humans would have ! When they knew they couldn't be sure ...

Oh and also : ants passed the mirror test ,

They painted a dot on them and they removed it when they got placed in front of a mirror ,

And here is the thing with the mirror test :

It's problem is that it's not sensitive enough ,

Because it doesn't account for the animal culture and it's senses : wild gorillas failed it because looking each other in the eyes is a sign of aggression , so it's like if you meet an object that displayed you but with two middle fingers and calling you slurs ,

Domestic gorillas like koko passed it with no problems ...

And most dogs failed , but didn't with their smell ,

All of these are false negatives ,

There are no cases of animals lucking their way past the mirror test , there are chance cases of animals getting accidentally hurdled by it ...

Wich is why we moved past the mirror test for animal cognition , but ants passed it !

And like we will never be 100% wheter another thing outside us is conscius ,

Heck not even if pepole are truly conscius , the philosophical zombie problem is a thing,

Consciusness is hard and i sort of determined that assigning it to other organisms is an act of kindness more than anything ...

But like jeez we are soo fucking unkind to imenopterans !

We'll attribute everything they do to instinct or just brute tought processes ,

While if cheetas get helped by an emotional support dog we'll be quick to call them anxius or what have you ...

Like sociality is associated always with higher cognition , so why are pepole so quick to assume that the most social animals alive today , wich also come from quite brainy ancestors , are just purely istinctual ?

There is also this "orientalization" almost of non mammalian animals i feel :

Insects , Fish and reptiles are always acting upon instinct and mechanical drives ...

While mammals and rarely birds will have emotions and toughts !

And if you inquire deeply , they are both the same ...

There is no difference between emotions and instincts , it's a tought terminating cliche ...

Are Humans Self-Aware?

Ants have often tested humans for self awareness. They placed objects in our homes and were shocked we didn't cover them in sand.

"Although humans build interesting nests & show signs of cooperation, can they really have rich inner lives like ants? Unlikely."

They laid pheromone trails & we ignored them.

"Even a newly eclosed callow or a termite could have followed these trails! Human intelligence is perhaps similar to that of a lichen... or perhaps an aphid at best."

[frostiifae]

there's another even funnier and more subtle layer to consider here though. like looking at both outcomes:

A Fairy has knocked on my door!

Huh that's weird. Fairies are real? And she wants something from me? Maybe just to fuck with me? Or maybe she wants a treat. This is a normal, predictable interaction with a demihuman being that I didn't recognize actually existed before now, but the behavior she exhibits is within reason for what I know about fairies, so I'm able to carry this interaction on with that understanding.

An Animal has knocked on my door.

How is this even possible? Putting aside the massive hurdle that is "how did this animal get here", we still have to consider how enormously unlikely this sequence of events is: the animal approached my door, recognized it as a destination in itself, then knocked on the door, which is not an obvious action for such an animal to take, and then waited for me to answer the door, demonstrating an understanding not only of the social contract of approaching a stranger's home, but the more fundamental idea that this is where a human lives and you can get the human's attention with a specific ritual.

This is just way too improbable to imagine a real animal ever doing, right? It feels more likely that someone has put the animal up to this - dragging it to my door, bidding it wait there somehow, and then doing an elaborate ding-dong-ditch act on me. But who would do that?! I don't know anyone who would pull a prank like this on me - even if I did have friends with access to these animals and the training and confidence to move them around, which I absolutely do not - because like, what is even the joke? What could they stand to gain? How do they intend to deal with this situation they've created?

This could only even begin to make sense if the perpetrator of this practical joke has no motive beyond doing something as stupid and surprising as possible. Their only goal is to surprise me at my door with something unfathomably unlikely, and they have no concern for the consequences maybe because they do not understand consequences, or - more likely - because the consequences are trivial for them.

And so it becomes clear, why the fairy is not only the less surprising of the two choices, but will always be the less surprising. The explanation for both outcomes is the same. A fairy has knocked on your door.

those polls about what would be more surprising to find at your door, a fairy vs [insert wild animal here] is so fucking funny to me because personally it's always going to be the wild animal. always. and it's all summed up by this addition on the first poll of this i reblogged

[1greenameba]

It's incredible how much we stack the deck against hymenopterans in terms of studying their cognition :

We see solitary tarantula hawk wasps (5 cm bugs eich fly have a tough exoscheleton and a mighty painful sting , so they don't need high cognition in the same way a tiger or an eagle wouldn't need high cognition )

But yeah these guys both learn how to take out tarantula more effectively upon each subsequent encounter ,

And They memorize their nest spot in wich they take care of their youngs ,

Like these show traits (learning and parental care) wich we describe as intelligence ...

Yet we don't discuss them and label insects as dumb ...

But that is not all !

Then there are bees and ants !

Bumblebees are able to find a good approximation for the travelling salesman problem , in wich they have to find the shortest path between many points without overlap ,

And the solution they found wasn't the absolute best but like pretty good , indicating that they have a good intuition for this ...

They also taught bumblebees how to do addition and play ball , heck bumblebees have even played by themselves with younger bumblebees playing more than older ones , exactly like every other intelligent animal !

But no they are dumb instinctual cpu like animals !

Now let's jump to bees and ants :

Bees communicate with each other trough dancing ,

And these aren't just alarm calls , they indicate directions , and the only point of reference they use is the sun ,

Like there aren't many other animals besides humans that will do that , and even then humans aren't too good at it ...

Now this is like incredible when you put it in prospective of these other things :

When swarming bees will vote , they will collectively decide where they'll go based on other bees sharing informations on possible nesting spots ,

Like this means bees have preferences , and can change their mind ,

Like how do you fit this into the "bees are instinctual" theory ?

They will rank options and decide on them , this is massive to simply put , painted wolves have somenthing similar but it's nowere near as sophisticated ,

And yeah here comes the kicker : bees have evidence of meta cognition ,

They asked them memory questions in a lab setting , the bees successfully replied ,

Then they threw in a question the bee didn't know and the option to say "i am not sure" ,

The bees picked that when the humans would have ! When they knew they couldn't be sure ...

Oh and also : ants passed the mirror test ,

They painted a dot on them and they removed it when they got placed in front of a mirror ,

And here is the thing with the mirror test :

It's problem is that it's not sensitive enough ,

Because it doesn't account for the animal culture and it's senses : wild gorillas failed it because looking each other in the eyes is a sign of aggression , so it's like if you meet an object that displayed you but with two middle fingers and calling you slurs ,

Domestic gorillas like koko passed it with no problems ...

And most dogs failed , but didn't with their smell ,

All of these are false negatives ,

There are no cases of animals lucking their way past the mirror test , there are chance cases of animals getting accidentally hurdled by it ...

Wich is why we moved past the mirror test for animal cognition , but ants passed it !

And like we will never be 100% wheter another thing outside us is conscius ,

Heck not even if pepole are truly conscius , the philosophical zombie problem is a thing,

Consciusness is hard and i sort of determined that assigning it to other organisms is an act of kindness more than anything ...

But like jeez we are soo fucking unkind to imenopterans !

We'll attribute everything they do to instinct or just brute tought processes ,

While if cheetas get helped by an emotional support dog we'll be quick to call them anxius or what have you ...

Like sociality is associated always with higher cognition , so why are pepole so quick to assume that the most social animals alive today , wich also come from quite brainy ancestors , are just purely istinctual ?

There is also this "orientalization" almost of non mammalian animals i feel :

Insects , Fish and reptiles are always acting upon instinct and mechanical drives ...

While mammals and rarely birds will have emotions and toughts !

And if you inquire deeply , they are both the same ...

There is no difference between emotions and instincts , it's a tought terminating cliche ...

Are Humans Self-Aware?

Ants have often tested humans for self awareness. They placed objects in our homes and were shocked we didn't cover them in sand.

"Although humans build interesting nests & show signs of cooperation, can they really have rich inner lives like ants? Unlikely."

They laid pheromone trails & we ignored them.

"Even a newly eclosed callow or a termite could have followed these trails! Human intelligence is perhaps similar to that of a lichen... or perhaps an aphid at best."